You're not even gone
And I'm already missing you.
xxxxxSo I found out you're the only thing that keeps me waking up in the mornings, and I realized that you're the only person I can talk to for hours and hours without having those painfully awkward silences and pauses. I swear, I could stay up three nights straight with you, and you know how much I love sleeping. It's sad, but true. No one means as much to me as you do. Am I as pathetic as I feel? It's just like, when I'm with you, I don't have to think about how depressing the world around me is. I wish I could make that sound less selfish.
xxxxxAbout as soon as I found all that out, the news of your big success came crashing down. I can't, no I won't, spoil it for you. That's why I'm writing it here, because I know you won't read it. It's not that I want attention, it's not that I want sympathy. I just have to get it out somewhere. (And journals are too cliche, haha.) I'm jealous of a stupid thing, I know that. But God, I'll just- I dunno what I'll do here by myself. The thought scares me shitless. I bet you don't even know how much I'll miss you.
xxxxxYeah, you'll miss me too, I know. But I also know you'll move on quickly in a new environment. Me? I'm stuck here to rot. I can't escape this place like you can, and you're the one person that made it bearable. I hope you find enough happiness there for the both of us. For now, I'll just cheer you on and support. It's what friends do, we grin and bear it. I love you. Good luck.
