too much as happened since my last entry
Spencer had sex with Lauren
and I think they're sort of dating
except he's hurting her the EXACT same way he hurt me
except I had more sense than to sleep with him
(thank GOD)
but I love the girl
and I know she wouldn't have done anything if she'd known about my feelings for him
but it's so good that this happened
I got over him
the night they slept together we were all at a party at Travis' house.
I got there late
too late
I knew when I got there I wouldn't be the one hooking up with him, considering he and Lauren we practically eating each others faces off
I made the mistake to drink away my pain (I'm such a drama queen) and I got wasted
lately when I drink too much, I get really really emotional... so the fact that I was already in a bad state before drinking didn't help.
when Spencer and Lauren were in the bedroom together, I was trying SO hard not to cry
however, I didn't until later in the night when I saw Spencer doing the exact same thing to Lauren as he always did to me: ignoring her after hooking up with her
anyways the alcohol in my system must have made me brave, because I decided to do something for Lauren that I'd never done for myself: stand up to Spencer
I marched right over to him and said "don't be an a*****e"
he didn't take it well... and I told him I was sorry but it was the truth... that I know he hurts people... that I've seen it done to way too many girls and that I wouldn't let him do that to her. THEN I burst into tears....
but the thing was, I wasn't that sad: THAT was the moment I got over him.... because I'd let it all go... I'd let all my emotions about the situation out and it felt SO good....
but anyways, thanks to me, Lauren and Spencer are semi-dating... however I sense he's pulling away... funny how she and I are really close now... I love that girl... and I WON'T let him hurt her
I got my good-karma payback too: after spazzing at Spencer, I decided to go outside and take a walk for some air. Travis caught me leaving his house and realized I was crying. he asked if he could join me and I let him...
anyways, I poured my heart out to him... I didn't mention Spencer, but I told him everything about how I'm sick of being the girl that guys hook up with... and he proceeded to tell me how he's been crazy about me ever since we met and all this stuff... and we were both drunk hahaha but I have to say, I had the best kiss of my life....
and anyways, I've been seeing Travis for the last little while casually....
Kara told me the other day that he told her that he really likes me but wants to wait for the summer when things are less hectic to maybe start dating
fine... I can live with that
it's funny what you can find when you let go of your past
 postage-paid · Wed May 02, 2007 @ 08:05am · 0 Comments |
