The entire family didn't awaken until noon and my younger sister was picked up to spend the night at our dad's place at 1:30. So, my mom, her fiancee and myself decided to go to the mall. I was feeling amazing and totally worthy of looking in the mirror (unlike most days. My ex thinks I have a mild form of BDD.) so I dressed how I felt-neon purple t-shirt under a black tank top with a white, 1/2 sleeve jacket covered in black guitars, my favorite skinny jeans, platform black and white sneakers, a bunched up arm warmer, my fang-like bracelet, a big red heart necklace, neon purple gaudy earrings, skull headband, and an amethyst and sterling silver necklace. I walked out of the building feeling happy and confident and remained that way for our 5-hour shopping trip that ended at 7 o'clock.
NIGHT TIME:
As soon as we got home from the mall (where I had seen (Timothy) Dalton "Spankie" Campbell at Hot Topic, Nikki Daley at Old Navy and Lindsey Nothorn), I tried on my new pink arm warmers (fishnet covered in sheer fabric. woot woot!), a new black skirt with tiny pale blue, pale yellow, magenta and cream colored dots all over it with those colored stripes at the bottom, a matching magenta t-shirt and my new hot pink eyeliner and black and red eyeshadow (not as an outfit lol). I was extremely satisfied, but exhausted, so I logged onto gaia and facebook. A bit later, my mom wanted me to try the maid of honor dress on so she could see how it looked with my new shoes. I put the thing on feeling wonderful, but upon looking in the mirror, I became repulsed. The first few times I'd worn it, I felt amazing. But this time, I was just plain disgusted. I felt like a walrus stuffed into a red silk dress. I stared into the mirror and said "You cow. You fat, disgusting beast! I hate you!" and promptly put my pajamas back on. So, for the next few days, I won't be able to look at myself in the mirror or eat anything because I feel like a blubber-butt. As of now, disregard my other entries because I hate myself once more.
