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Back at school again. Back in this little, tiny room, all by my lonesome. Just a few more weeks, though, then I'm free for the summer. That'll be nice.

So, I turned in my applications at Barnes & Noble and Bed Bath & Beyond on Thursday. B&N said they'd keep it for a year and look at it if they needed any help, but BB&B gave me a mini-interview on the spot. I've never been interviewed before, so you can understand why I was nervous--when she asked what customer service meant to me, I blanked and said servicing the customer. She said thank you, if you don't hear from us in a week you don't get the job.

Also, camping! Thursday thru Saturday I was camping in Fort DeSoto. It was fun, I guess. It was another thing I never done before--well, in a way. I've been camping hundreds of times, but not without my family. It was me, my friend Erica, her friend Barbra and for a short time Barbra's boyfriend Adam. We spent most of our time trying not to get wet, and when that didn't work we spent our time trying not to get hypothermia (luckily, that was more successful).

But, there was one thing that really got to me--Barbra and her boyfriend are engaged. She's 18, they've only know each other for about 6 months. And they're getting married.

...Why? Why? It just... doesn't make any sense to me. To feel so strongly for someone you've known for so little a time--to give yourself to them so wholly, so completely... blows my mind. Later, Erica asked if I could ever see Billy and I getting married.

Honestly? No. I love Billy with all my heart, but after two years and having barely worked our way up to grandma-kisses, I see us as more best friends masqurading as lovers then anything else. I'm not sure if I could love him the right way anymore. Maybe that will change someday. I hope it does.

But I'm ready if it doesn't.