Last night being star wars night, I was having the best ******** time. Spending time with friends, joking laughing.. hell I even made all us girls matching I  Jedis t shirts just for fun.
We were the first to arrive at the theatre and begin the line up. And a good thing too as hundreds of people showed up all at once. So we were sitting on the floor trying to pass the time when Joe shows up. He adds himself to the group, we all figured he was coming and we had a plan. I was to sit between Holly and Devin so that I would have a wall of friends around me and not be required to sit by Joe. Joe offered to buy my popcorn so we could share but I said no thank you. Trying to keep things friendly and light I mentioned that I had had some odd desire to talk to him the other day. I instantly regretted said statement as he got that look in his eye again.
We went into the movie and created said wall.. all seemed to be going well. The movie starts and everything is awesome. Holly suddenly nudges me and says "wow you were right, he really can't let go!" I glance over and he's not watching star wars. I feel the urge to vomit and strongly consider leaving. I stay. I slouch down and turn a little so I'm not able to see him at all. It works, I watch the rest of the movie. It ends, we make to leave. I make a point of going the opposite way of Joe so as to avoid any unnecessary conversation but he waits then cuts me off blocking my exit. Devin comes over and stands directly beside me which helps a little. Joe asks "You mentioned wanting to talk.. want to go somewhere right now and have a quiet chat?" I tense up and try to think quickly of a responce that doesn't involve "get the ******** away from me". I tell him that I am fine and I had nothing specific I needed to talk about anyway, so no thank you. I turn to Dev and say good night and head for the door.
I don't know why Joe stresses me out so much but I wanted to find some dark corner and just hide in it. I went out and sat in my car until Devin came. He said we were all meeting at Seans (minus Joe) so I agreed and drove over. On the way I stopped for a hot cup of green tea as my nerves were shot and I was unbelievably upset by the whole thing. Why does his presence affect me so? And why am I still afraid of him? I hate myself for having ANY feeling at all for him, even if it is a negative one.
 Lady Tamuril · Sat May 21, 2005 @ 02:40am · 0 Comments |
